Dear G-d/dess,
thank you that I'm so tired tonight. My body aches and i can't get to the shift key. I know you know those words I keep forgetting, and those trains of thought that leave without me. You know why i can't get the kids' names straight and even why I mix them up with the dogs' names.
Thank you that i'm so tired, because it means I have 3 beautiful kids, gifts beyond measure. Thank you that my heart nearly breaks just thinking about it, and thank you that my heart does crack open when they do things like need me so much, and when they don't need me so much (because their wings are getting stronger).
And thank you that my hormonal son went to a Mardi Gras parade this weekend that I was surprised to hear had women flashing for fun (and for beads, no less) and thank you that I didn't over react, and remembered that there should be more nude statues in our fair land.
Thank you for breasts, even the ones that fascinate my pubescent child.
And thank you G-d that I got the film and can see the pictures before he does.
Thank you for art that can raise us to the sublime beauty of your creation.
Thank you that I remembered to brush Gwyneth's hair today, and that i forgot her paper bag for kindergarten on Friday, and that the teacher, her wonderful teacher was so nice about it. Thank you for that compliment she gave me last week when I was late (again) and a bit distracted, about having a nice aura, and I remembered how good teachers are, how much what they say counts all our lives.
and thank you G-d for all the work today, and that I can throw myself into it and still have something left for the family, and for all those parents who work just as hard as me, but don't make nearly the money or don't have the benefits.
Thank you for those parents whose children have died in an unjust war, and who raised other young souls who have gone astray, and have to live with the pain of their regrets and if onlys. Bless them in their pain and loss. Help me to learn from the long line of good people in my family and from their mistakes and from my wonderful friends who are learning with me, and help me relax at the right time and be diligent when needed.
Thank you G-d for that dumb a** president because we live in a country where I can say that and hate his bankrupting the government, spending my children's future and giving more money to big business and the small number of wealthy hoarders in the richest country in the world. Thank you for not being Republican - or Democrat.
Thank you for Howard Dean.
Thank you G-d for all the poverty in our land, because it reminds us we don't know much about true charity if we can't feed our own, and can't figure out where criminals come from.
Thank you G-d for the working poor and the family farms and for all the abundance in the world that gives us enough food to feed everyone on the planet. Thank you for reminding us that we will have to be really humble until we can get smart enough to fix a system that doesn't feed every child in the world.
Thank you for all the healthcare workers who are doing their best and please smite the dragon of impersonal enterprises that feed themselves by making us all just numbers instead of people. Please especially smite the pharmeceutical companies that take advantage of people's fears and steal from old people and desperate people and third world countries. Please remind us that a free market can't work when consumers have no choice.
You are something else. You know all this and hear my small voice in the wilderness, amidst all the noise and running and daily grind. You even find my good thoughts in the midst of my own monkey mind, chattering. You might not log on, but we are always plugged in. You are as close as my breath.
Help me sleep well, and keep my mouth shut when I'm awake. I'm still learning to listen, as you know. Help me forgive myself and figure out why it's so much easier to forgive others, except my husband, whose every wrong I can't seem to forget. Please grant me a bad memory for him and a good one for his and my kids' good sweet deeds.
Amen,
v